NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
