My friends, they love my intelligence
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
