That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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