the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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