thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
