im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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