Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
