so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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