fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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