Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
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He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
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How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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