marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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