i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize