don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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