im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize