True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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