He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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