quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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