If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
