you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
