so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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