Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.