you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool