There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You're like the curious george of whores
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town