u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
