There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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