I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
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You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
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The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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