Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
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You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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