Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
This girl is more easily done than said...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
