Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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