I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
