Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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