grandma shit on top of the toilet
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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