new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
me + whiskey = a bad person
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
