so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
