I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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