So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
