There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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