I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
