OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
