We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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