love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
