Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
false alarm, still single
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
