just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
