Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
