Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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