she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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