Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
