I CAN MOONWALK!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
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I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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