i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
