He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
