Plan B is the new Plan A
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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