I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize