we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
