hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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